“You know sometimes you come out of the men’s toilets and the ladies is placed in such a way that you confuse it with the exit and so you go in?”

That’s what I said to the manageress of ‘Carnegies’ when she caught me in there, but she came back with the very clever (and rather truthful):

“That doesn’t explain why you were looking over the top of the cubicle watching me have a dump.”

“Please,” I begged, “the word dump from a lady!,” I continued, “I’m no more a pervert than the next man. Just so long as the next man just happens to be a great whopping pervert.”